Tiramisu

Separate the egg yolks and put aside the whites until a bit later.

Find an electric mixer somewhere and chuck the yolks in the larger of the two bowls that you have for it. Whizz them up for a while and put the sugar in until it stops being all runny and goes kinda gooey.

Then put in the mascapone and give it another good blast until it’s all mixed in together and you’re happy.

Then take the bowl away and put it somewhere you won’t forget it. You’ll have to give the mixer beater thingies a good clean now ‘cause you’re going to use them for mixing up the whites and they don’t go too well together (the stuff you’ve just mixed and the whites that is).

So take the whites and put them in the smaller bowl and then go wild with the mixer until they’re nice and fluffy and forming soft peaks. (I like saying that. Until they form soft peaks. Sounds nice and professionalish).

Now fold the whites into the larger bowl with the rest of the mixture. You can do this by hand or with the mixer on a low speed.

Well done. You’re half way there.

Now boil up the kettle and make half a cup of extremely strong coffee. Or alternatively make your percolated coffee if you’re a purist. Top up the rest of the cup with liqueur (either Tia Maria or Kahlua depending on your personal preference. The cheap option is to use Creme de Caccao and generally most people won’t be able to tell the difference -- it’s up to you again as to whether you want to be difficult about the whole thing.

Now find a nice big glass bowl (it doesnt HAVE to be glass but it’s more fun if it is) and put about three quarters of an inch of the mascapone mixture in the bottom of it. You’re going to have to find a shallow bowl / dish thing also for putting the coffee mixture into.

The coffee mix has to be pretty hot still so it soaks into the biscuits nicely.

Grate a little of the dark chocolate over the mascapone mixture so it’s nice and chocolatey on top (I use club chocolate but I’m sure you can try something else if you want).

Then soak the biscuit things in the coffee liquid and make a layer of them over the mascapone you have in the bowl.

Then put more mascapone mixture on top and grate chocolate over that and then more biscuits in the coffee stuff and then more mascapone and then more chocolate and then more biscuits and then more mascapone and then you’re a the top of the bowl so you have to stop anyway and if you’re reading this sentence out aloud you’re probably going to want to stop and take a breath about now too.

And then cover the top of the whole thing with lots of finely grated chocolate and put some glad wrap over the top and bung the lot in the fridge and get on with making the rest of the dinner.

If you have any coffee mixture left over after you put the last layer of biscuits down you can pour that over them before youput the final bit of mascapone on.

That’s it. You’re done now.