Home-Style Inner Beauty Hot Sauce

WARNING: Hottest sauce in North America. Use this to enhance dull and boring food. Keep away from pets, open flames, unsupervised children, and bad advice. This is not a toy. This is serious. Stand up straight, sit right, and stop mumbling. Be careful not to rub your nose, eyes, or mouth while working with habaneros. You may actually want to wear rubber gloves while chopping and mixing -- these babies are powerful.

Curtis sez: "Wear the rubber gloves. Trust me on this."

Mix all the ingredients together and stand back. This will keep, covered and refrigerated, until the year 2018. Be careful though: If it spills, it will eat a hole in your refrigerator. If you ever want to dispose of it, call the local toxic waste specialists.

Curtis adds: "I pull the stems off the peppers and discard them. Then I cut off the tops of the peppers (including the hard stem root button), toss the tops in a food processor with all the other ingredients, and puree thoroughly. Then I coarsely chop the bodies of the peppers (including seeds and placenta; otherwise what is the point?), add them to the food processor, and pulse a few times just to mix, but not enough to further chop the peppers."