Mal's Loaf Of Dead Cow Recipe

Preheat the oven to 375 F Add all the ingredients (except the beef broth and mesquite) into a large mixing bowl.

Using CLEAN hands, get in there and mash it up well! Ask somebody else to pour in anything extra if you need it.

Pat the meat mixture into something that resembles a meatloaf shape. Or, you can make it into a bat shape, or a ball shape, or a penis shape too for all I care.

Sprinkle more breadcrumbs over the top of the loaf-type abomination that you've made. Follow that by sprinkling some more parsley and a healthy shaking of mesquite seasoning too. Mmm-mmm!

Pour a little water, some more red wine and the beef broth into the bottom of the pan so you don't burn that bitch.

And yeah, you guessed it- shove the whole mess into the oven.

It will take over an hour. I yanked it out after an hour and the middle was still too soft so I'd say leave that dead cow in there for at least an hour and a half to an hour and forty minutes. If you check on it and the bottom is burning-- DOY, add more liquid. Any liquid, it doesn't matter! Well, okay, not *any* liquid, you perverts. You know what I mean... -

After it's done, you pull it out, let it rest and then DDIIIINNNNNEEE like you've never dined before, because this recipe is magnificent! The top is crunchy and the innards of your dead cow loaf is soft and moist... oh yeah. You enjoy this roasted flesh loaf and you enjoy your Halloween too! Booyah!